I’ve told people that I wasn’t interested in making shorter works, like making short films. I believe this sentiment was mostly driven by economic needs (short films don’t make money), but this sentiment also caused my skills to be left wanting. I did do a few though.
Between Enter Cedar and my next project, Where the Highway Meets the Corridor , there is a handful of smaller stories that happen. As I explore color and water mediums, I revisited an older piece. It was fun. I’ll probably “rerelease” these pieces once I’m done posting the last pages of Enter Cedar.
So I got covid this week. It hasn’t been the worst illness, but it definitely put the kibosh on my weekly posting.
Aside from worrying about the potential day in which diminished mental and physical wherewithal prevent my artistic ambitions, the fever made me realize I wanted to start chapter 11 for “Enter Cedar” differently.
Like, I had already nearly finished this weeks posting, but then I got Covid, and then during the height of the fever, I got the idea for this new page. Which was actually an older thought, but I never wrote it down. If I don’t write things down, they enter one of those game show “money booths” that people get inside and grab dollar bills. I might grab the idea again, but I’ll likely remember months after I’ve published the larger concept, and I’ll just need to deal with the frustration.
I’m feeling very undeserving as of late. It began when I started creating a “timeline” of the projects I’ve finished and the projects I’ve yet to finish.
It’s a lot of work. I’ve done the math, it will likely take my lifetime (at my current pace). When I map it out like this, I start to feel like I’m not good enough to tell this story, or that it shouldn’t be as big as it is. That I’m not good enough for this, or that the idea itself isn’t worth illustrating; that “The Imbibe Universe” is only worth devoting a little space to it.
I don’t really have an argument against all that, other than I want this and that I’ve spent a good deal of my life thinking about it. It’s part of who I am as a person. It’s not a part I share very often. And I’d like to change that. Because it seems to be an awful shame for it to rot away in my skull after death. Regardless of whether or not it deserves telling.
Dammit. The Cacophony of Frog would have been a good name for the frog god. Right now, their name is Choir of Frog. For reasons, I kept the grouping name of gods in the letter C. Mostly because we have the Raven Council, and then that became the Salmon Collective, and then it became Commune of Bear. Choir, Council, Collective, Commune.
But Cacophony of Frog would have been good too. These “gods” are not singular entities, but groupings of like minded human sentiments and emotions. They don’t get a name, they get a title, representing their collective consciousness.
Except for Morah, who has been removed and/or removed herself. Can you really say “I removed myself from the collective” when “you” had that thought when “you” were still the collective?